Is Romance Dead?

Sometimes I sit and I think about the word "Romance" and what it means. If you were to google romance and click on images you would find yourself bombarded by images of kissing or hearts or scenery and even some music artists such as My Chemical Romance or Lady Gaga ala Bad Romance. But what is real romance? How can we honestly define it? And what is the difference between romance and passion/lust. Let's explore this thought process. Now first off let me clarify that these are my feelings on the topic and everyone has their own idea on the subject, what may or may not be romantic to me will fulfill that definition for another I am sure . 

From childhood, men and women both are given a certain expectation with regard to romance. Men are often portrayed in media as being mostly clueless until one major light bulb moment sets them straight for life. Girls are given their expectation of meaningful romance by Disney-esque fairytales which for the most part (although changing recently) have them waiting to be rescued from their lives by some handsome hero. Then there are romantic comedies and movies/books such as the recent fascination with the Twilight series. It is easily very confusing to be a teenager of either gender and know what is expected of you in your romantic endeavors. We can accept as fact that the aliens, monsters, zombies ect. out of movies are not real and yet we can also hold out idle hope that one day our husband/wife will watch, read or listen to Oprah enough to realize we need candles and teddy bears and lingerie ect ect ect, to fulfill us romantically.  We can imagine our significant other filling our beds with rose petals or creating for us a romantic dinner setting complete with thousands of white lights hanging neatly above our heads and a string quartet serenading us. And scarily getting back to Twilight, some youngsters might get the idea that obsession and possessiveness somehow equate to romance. 

I honestly believe there are some things that are almost universally considered unromantic such as bodily functions, neediness, lack of confidence, weakness, uber-emotionality. There are also those things that are nearly universal in their appeal and romantic potential, confidence, strength, playfulness, thoughtfulness, compassion, passion. Passion is SEXY but I think sometimes people get their wires crossed and think passion=sex=romance, that just isn't so. Romance by it's definition is something deeper than a sexual meeting of bodies, it's something much more emotional, something founded more deeply in areas of the heart than some  thrust against the wall, on the counter top, on the kitchen table, devil may care encounter out of Fatal Attraction or Basic Instinct.

I sometimes have to remind myself that if you think you're missing out in romance in life that perhaps you're not reading your significant others signs. For instance my significant other is not the type to build up some kind of romantic fantasy he saw in a movie once. He is generally just not the romantic type to oooh and ahh over some sweet sentiment in a movie or love song. His romantic gestures to me are taking care of me, making sure I have coffee waiting for me in the morning, washing the dishes, making sure the oil is changed in the car, anything that makes my life easier, those are his love letters. Sometimes I have to ask myself is it worth it to get upset over the lack of overt romantic signs such as roses and boxes of candy. 

I heard something once , that love isn't just an emotion it's a choice, some days you love your partner without effort and sometimes you choose to love them in spite of your emotions at the time. I think romance is sometimes that way as well. Sometimes you have to choose to change your perspective and see the wonder and love performed not by actors on a screen but by those who are closest to us.